Surviving the Holidays

Winter is here and with it comes many holidays and gatherings. While this may bring joy and excitement, it can also create situations that prompt anxiety, depression, and grief, especially for survivors of sexual violence.​

Survivors can experience mixed emotions around the holiday season for many reasons. Some things that can make the holidays extra challenging are: 

• Increased expectations for the season, ourselves, our families/friends 
• Financial stress 
• Increased time spent with friends/family that aren’t always helpful 

• Presence of abuser at social gatherings and/or those that have condoned or minimized the abuse 
• Disruption of routine 
• Increased triggers, flashbacks, nightmares 
• Navigating difficult people/topics with friends/family 
• Setting and maintaining boundaries 

• Reminder of those you are no longer close or in contact with because of abuse 

Knowing how the holidays may affect you, now can be a good time to brush up on your coping skills, lean on your support systems and make a plan to get through the tough times! If you are a support person for a survivor, now may be an important time to check in with them about how you can best support them through these times. Giving some concrete options of how you can support them can be useful. For example, instead of just saying “Let me know what I can do”, you could add “I can bring a meal over," "I can be available to pick you up if you are feeling triggered and need a ride home," or "I can text you encouraging things during the event.” 

Some holiday coping ideas…   
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• Change or create new traditions – no need to keep the same old traditions if they are painful, difficult or no longer bring you joy and happiness. Think of this year as an opportunity to start new!    
• Have a conversation about what the holidays look like for you this year. This can alleviate stress about the unknown of what your holidays entail.   
• Schedule a time for breakdown or alone time.  
• Re-evaluate your priorities for the holiday you are celebrating, and ensure that your celebrations are serving YOUR priorities, not just those of others.  
• Acknowledge the “inside” does not always match the “outside” – it can be difficult to be around so many happy people when you don’t feel happy. You don’t need to change, but acknowledging this challenge may be helpful.  
• Make space to acknowledge what you have lost. Allow yourself to grieve. It is okay to not be okay.   
• Have an exit strategy – when you need to go, you need to go! Have a plan to leave and use it when you need it. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. If it helps, you can have possible excuses to leave ready to go. Create a safety plan if needed.  
• Give-back if you are ready and have capacity! 
• Be gentle with yourself. There is no perfect way to handle this, errors will happen and that is okay!   
• Practice self-care strategies that you know to be helpful for you!  
• Create a sensory wellness kit. Keep items on hand that help you calm down and feel more grounded. For example, comfort objects, a picture of a loved one, a chocolate bar, favourite tea, soft blanket, beeswax candle, affirmations, etc. 
• Reach out for support! Remember you are not alone. Let the support people in your life know what are useful ways they can support you during this time. For example, you can schedule check-in times, let them know your schedule and when it may be useful to connect, ask them to remind you of your coping strategies. 
• Know the resources of places you are travelling and keep them regularly available – you can call SASC support line, or the local support line of where you are going to, consider booking extra counselling or support appointments if possible. 
• Connect with other survivors. SASC groups are a way to connect with others that are going through similar experiences. Click on the button below to see a full list of our groups and workshops.​ 

Know that you are not alone. You can always call SASC’s 24 hour support line at 519.741.8633.  ​

Groups and Workshops

Download our holiday coping worksheet

More community resources: 
​
Crisis lines 

• Assaulted Women's Helpline:
  • Toll-Free: 1 (866) 863-0511  
  • Canada wide sexual assault crisis/support line   
• Here 24/7:  
  • Toll-Free: 1 (844)437-3247
  • Crisis support and Referrals (Waterloo-Wellington)  
• LGBTQ Youth Line
  • ​4:00-9:30 PM Sunday-Friday.
  • Toll-Free: 1 (800) 268-9688
  • Text: (647)694-4275  
• Trans Lifeline
  • Toll-Free: 1 (877) 330-6366
  • Hotline staffed by transgender people for transgender people.  

Local supports and events  

• Christmas Support Programs (KW)
  • Food for holiday meals and gifts for children 15 years and younger.  ​
• Family and Children’s Services of Waterloo Region 
  • Gift cards for groceries or gifts. 
  • Community Information Centre of Waterloo Region: (519) 579-3800 
  • Contact for more information on Christmas hampers and times and locations of Christmas dinners.  
• SPECTRUM Celebration of Chosen Family 
  • December 25, 2022 from 12-3 PM
  • Options to Attend In-Person or Virtually 
  • Chance for 2SLGBTQ+ community members of Waterloo Region to have a holiday celebration and lunch together. 

Written by Adria

Adria is the Groups and Workshop Coordinator for SASC.